Snuggle Me Timbers and Snug-a-Bugs! Why I will never feel guilty again about napping...

My Sweet Girl,

I can't tell you enough how blessed I feel for having you and your brothers in my life.  Just as with them, from the day you were born, we've always had a thing going, you and I.

You're my lady..

..we're best girls..

and we always will be, 

no matter the age or time in our lives.  

Yesterday, when I woke up with you from yet another one of our delicious snug-a-bugs (or snuggle me timbers!, as you also like me to say), I was feeling tremendously guilty.  One look around our insanely chaotic and cluttered house, and I was immediately reprimanding myself for having taken the time to sleep...
...but then I realized, it is just so SO much more than that.

We've been snuggling together from the time you were 4 months old and even before that, really...you'd always refused our repeated offers for the crib in favor of our arms...

...and I'm so incredibly grateful that you did!

I realized yesterday though, that these naps we get to take together each day...they're coming to a close...pretty soon, once the Fall is here...these afternoon naps will pretty much be a thing of the past...

I know too, from experience with your big brother, that once kindergarten hits, your life will begin to fast forward at a pace that your dad and I will both struggle to be comfortable with.

Not only will naps become a thing of the past but also those middle of the night snuggles you give when you sneak into our bed and, along with it, so many of your wonderful little girl traits and habits.

  

I love you so much, Baby Girl (you know you'll be my baby girl for always!).

I love how you both love and need to be where I am at all times.  I love that you run back for a kiss at preschool if we didn't get a proper one...I love that you want me by your bedside as you fall asleep, and I love how you run out to me in the living room when you wake up and realize I'm not there.

Where I am, you need to be...

and I am so humbled and honored by that...

I am both completely undeserving 

and completely at a loss for words over your love for me.   

So yes, yesterday as I awoke from our nap, I did feel guilty, but I assure you that I never will again.  Life and time is too short.  Fall is approaching, and there is so much excitement awaiting you there, but I know too, that my heart and my arms will ache for just one more of these times with you.

You really are growing up, and this Fall is a huge deal on so many levels...I'm so proud of you, and I love you more than words could ever say.  I just hope so much that one day, you'll remember all these deep and meaningful moments we've shared along the path of your childhood, and I hope that you'll carry them with you always and pass them on to your own, because my heart,...my heart will never forget.

I get it now, that it is so much more than a nap...

It is a sweetness and a love that I will hold onto for the rest of my life...

So I will snuggle with complete abandon, My Girl...these napping days are winding down and I just will never be ready to open my arms and let you go...

The Bliss of Living A "Bottom of the Coffee Pot" Kind of Life

We are a "bottom of the coffee pot" kind of family.  

Photo by Jim Lost At Sea via FreeImages

Doesn't really sound like the kind of label anyone would want to wear, but I'm especially proud of this one...

Every Wednesday night, my family and I rush across town to our church.  It's group night there, and all of our activities begin promptly at 6:30.

I've seriously tried everything I can think of to get us there on time (including dinner in the car!), but no matter what I do, we are always late.  For the last 2 months, each and every Wednesday, my family and I arrive after everything has already started.  Week after week, without fail, we sheepishly check in our younger two while my eyes dart around, quickly scoping out the scene to see whether there could possibly be another family arriving after us.

A little camaraderie, perhaps?

Usually, there is not.  

It's just us.  

Last night, we were especially late.

After hurrying to get the kids to their rooms, my husband and I dashed to the coffee table, hoping for a little caffeine to keep our minds alert and our eyes open after putting in a hard day's work.

Once again, I held our cups while my husband tipped the coffee urn forward, each of us hoping for enough to fill our containers!  While laughing at the fact that here we are, once again, tipping that pot, hoping for the parts of the coffee that no one really wants, it dawned on me:

This is where I want to be, tipping the pot with my husband.  

We work so hard.  

We try our best.  

We're giving this life everything we've got for our King.  

Right now, it's true, we're a "bottom of the coffee pot" kind of family, but I know that neither of us would trade it in for the world.  Some day, when our kids are grown and life slows down, I'm sure we'll be receiving first fruits from that coffee pot, while some other family comes lagging behind for their burnt drops of coffee, but I'm in absolutely no hurry for it.

I drink in full my burnt coffee, knowing that I have got the best of it all...with my life and heart for my God, and my mission and purpose for Him and my family.

Thank You, Lord, for the bottom of the pot coffee that my husband and I drink from on the regular.  I pray, Oh Lord, that we will always be grateful for these cups You have us drink from, and that we never ever forget the precious reasons we drink from this particular part of the well.  Thank You for our blessings, Lord.  They are worth every precious bit of burnt coffee we pour into our cups...because of You, that burnt coffee tastes like the sweetest, richest flavor of all.  Praise You, my King.  I love You with all that I am.  

In Jesus'  Precious Name, Amen.

Photo by AA via FreeImages

Doing the Bible With Play Dough: Jonah

I know, I know...When I first started this series, I swore I'd post a new play dough story each week, and already, I have not.  Unforeseen circumstances with my back and three sick kids sort of rewrote that story, but we're here now, so let's get started!

Materials:

Play dough - Like last time, you can buy it, or make your own.  Whichever works best for you!  We seem to have a lifetime supply of the stuff and won't be making ours anytime soon, but I'd love to know how that recipe works out for you, if you try it!

Bible - This week's story comes from Jonah.  This one is four chapters long.  Now, before you go cringing at the thought, let me assure you that these chapters are short, and this story is so fun to visualize, which makes it easy to keep their attention the whole time!

All I basically said was that God wanted Jonah to go to Ninevah but Jonah said no.

Yes, we're using the Jedi men again...this likely won't be the last you see of them!
We used the mold for Jonah and two other guys for the boat!

He gets on a ship heading in the opposite direction.  (For this, we just used any container that mildly represented a boat and put all three of our play dough men inside.)

A huge storm comes. (Here, I let my daughter rock the boat all around.)

Jonah knows that the storm is his fault.

He tells the people to throw him overboard to calm the storm.

See...nothing extravagant here...just enough to get the point across.
Their imaginations will take care of the rest!

The storm immediately calms.  (Depending on your child's attention span, an important tidbit you can add here is that, when the storm calms, the remaining men on the boat realize how powerful God is and turn their lives to Him.)

Jonah sinks.

But a GIANT fish comes along and swallows him up.

I'm assuming Jonah's was a little more intimidating...

He stays there for 3 days.

Once he prays and tells God that he is sorry, God has the giant fish swim to shore and spit him up.

God tells Jonah to go to Ninevah and this time Jonah says yes.

The people in Ninevah hear what Jonah has to say, change their ways and ask God to forgive them.

I skipped the very last part for my daughter.  You know, the part where Jonah gets really mad that God had compassion on them.  I didn't want the first part of the story to get lost over the confusion she'd likely have with Jonah's reaction, so I just left it for when she is a little older.  

So that's it!  I think the most important thing to remember when you are doing these with your own child is to keep it simple (for the both of you):  The creations do not have to be extravagant and the story should be as short and to the point as possible.  You, of course, know your child better than I, but I find over here at this house, the shorter and to the point I am, the better she retains what I'm saying!

Oh, also...and this is a BIG one for us.  Make sure to have some fun making other creations as well!  Before our Jonah reenactment began, I let my daughter have a free-for-all with the play dough.  
Then we paused for the Jonah story and then picked back up with the free-for-all once again!

So, I hope you guys have so much fun with this one!  If you take any pictures of your Jonah story (or other play dough creations), send them my way, and I'll be sure to add them to my post!

Missed the first play dough story?  You can catch it here!

Doing The Bible With Play Dough: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego

I'm just going to get this right out in the open:

Yes, 

I am doing a series

on teaching kids about the Bible through play dough.

No, 

I do not have even the slightest of talents 

in the art of play dough creations!

Even still, I'm just so excited about the idea (thank you, children's church group!), and I'm super encouraged by my daughter's reception of it!

During the series, we'll be studying a new story from the Bible each week and reenacting it via play dough.  (So, if you've got any stories you'd like to see unfold, let me know!)

Materials:

Play dough - We used store bought, because, as you can see, we have A LOT!  If you're looking for a homemade recipe though, here's one that I pinned from Living Well Mom.  I haven't tried it yet myself, but it looks very simple!

Bible - This week's story comes from Daniel 3.  It's a huge plus to have read the story prior to trying to recreate it with your kids.  I have found that, while I certainly do read straight from the Bible to my daughter, her attention stays with me a lot better if I can give her an excited and animated summary instead. 

This all is really very easy.

I told my girl a 30-second version of the story first, and then suggested different things we could make with the play dough. 

We went for the obvious and started with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

And, of course, don't forget the angel!  

Why, yes!  Shadrach does look just like a jedi!
(Hey, you work with what you've got!)

My daughter was amazed by this part - that there was a fourth "person" in the flames with them.  

Over the years, we have collected a ton of play dough tools.  We just fished around and found what would fit with our story.  If you don't happen to have any tools, you could always just make the flames yourself...Even if you're challenged like I am, simply making blobs of orange and red for the fire will do just fine..if your kids are anything like mine, they'll just love the fact that you got the play dough out!

Once everything was all set, I told my daughter the story once more, but this time I used the figures we had made.  When we got to the part about their hands being bound, I squooshed their hands together.  When we got to the part that they were walking around freely in the fire, I just pulled their hands back apart.  You get the idea..

So there you have it!  Our first Bible reenactment via play dough!  Despite my lack of play dough know-how, my daughter absolutely loved this project!  She actually said in the middle of it all that "this was the best day ever!", so really, a chance to teach my child about God AND a chance to do it in an exciting way for her is really a complete win-win in my book!

We'll be doing these reenactments each week, so be sure to check back in!  Got any play dough reenactments that you guys have done at your house?  Send those pictures my way!  I'd love to see!

How to Get Your Child to Do Chores

For any parent who has ever tried to get their kids to do chores, you know the struggle that often comes with it.

If you're anything like me, the hassle alone might have been temptation enough to cut them loose from the whole chore thing altogether.  I mean after all, sometimes it's just easier (and more peaceful) to do it ourselves, right?!

I admit, I am guilty of this...
Judge me if you want to, but when we got knee-deep into the holidays this year, there was just no way that I wanted to deal with the aggravation of it all, so liberate them (and myself) I did!

With it now February, I've got my head on as straight as it will go and am ready to fire up those chores once again.  To avoid the debacle that was last time, however, I've come up with a new way to assign chores.

While the kids still have the responsibility of their own rooms to keep clean, I'm trying something a little more outside-the-box for them.

I've selected a handful of chores that desperately need attention around here and have written each down on a piece of paper.

Every Sunday, each kid will be selecting two chores from the bag (yes, that's a Reindeer food bag...I'm hoping that instead of attracting Santa and his sled, we can maybe attract a little cleanliness!)

They will be responsible for their two chores (and their room) for that entire week.

Once the week is done, they can toss those chores back in the bag and select new ones for the week to come!

See, I'm loving this because there is nothing rigid in place.  If they are hating their chore, they just need to persevere through the week before they choose a new one in its place.  Also, I can add or take away chores from the bag at any time.  

So that's it...
...That's the plan around here.

We start tomorrow.
I'm sure there will be complaining, but it wouldn't be our house if there wasn't!

What about you?  What helps your kids stay on task with their chores?  Leave your suggestions in the comments below.

How to Be Organized!

While that post title may be a little ambitious for me, I am motivated with my new whiteboard that I got from Walmart!  (No, I'm not being paid to advertise for them, but I figure, if it helps you, why not share?!)

Check it out:

I've got everything color-coded by child, so I can see at a glance, who's got what to do!  While it's still a work in progress, and not everything is even close to being listed here, it's a start for me and a complete load off my shoulders with not having to remember absolutely everything for everyone all at once (even if I haven't hung it up yet!)

What about you?  What's your secret weapon of organization?  

So far, for me, my weapon is this this whiteboard!

Want to know my most favorite part?  

Getting to erase the task when it's all done!!

How My Mom F-A-I-L Moment Has Been A Wake-Up Call

I think when I first became a stay-at-home mom, I believed that I would get so much done with each and every day:  The beds would be made and the house would be clean, there'd be crafts with the kids, and I'd have everyone on an organized schedule.

That was when my daughter was two.

Fast forward nearly three years and another child later, and I can safely say that we are SO far from that goal.  On a typical day, I am able to write off the craziness and chaos by telling myself that all the other moms are no better organized and orderly than I.

Last night, that bubble of mine totally burst, 

leaving me to realize that I seriously need some help!  

On Wednesdays, my family and I go to varying groups at our church.  Each child is in a different classroom, and my husband and I go to ours as well.  As it goes with classes, there is homework, and while I was never able to complete the entire thing each week with my daughter, we always read through the exercises and had the memory verse completed.  I really thought this was enough and actually felt pretty good about it.  There's just no more space to pack anything else into our days, and I was happy to feel I'd done my best...besides, there's no way other parents were getting all of this homework done...at least not everyone...right?

Wrong...so so wrong.

Turns out, my girl was the only one in her entire class to not have all of the items checked off in her book, which also meant that she was the only one to not have earned all of her badges.  While her teacher explained to me that this was the reason she had had a melt down in class, my heart just dropped.  I felt completely horrible for having let my daughter down, and I was just plain embarrassed.

Seriously, talk about feeling like I'd just committed a major parenting F-A-I-L!  

As we drove home that night, I couldn't help but think, "Where am I suppose to put this all?" and "How on earth am I seriously the only one to have not had this completed with my daughter?!"  I felt incredulous and truly like I was failing at this whole mom thing.

I think the long and short of it is that I just need to get organized.  I feel like the walls in this house are literally coming down around me with the dirty dishes and the clutter and the mess and our flying out of the house and arriving at the last minute all the time.  I seriously need to get off of this cycle and start a new one.

Remember that Crystal Paine book I was talking about?  Yeah, still the first chapter; but I picked it up again today.  I didn't make it very far, but she has me writing down everything I already do in a day right as I'm doing it.  I thought it would show me all of my time-wasting moments, but so far, what I'm seeing is more of a chaotic pattern.  While I may go into the kitchen to start the dishes, I'll notice something on the table that needs to go into the other room and redirect to there, and so on.  There's no rhyme or reason.  No order or structure, and while part of me likes that, it's also not working.

My husband thinks I should buy a giant white board so I can get everything down in one place.  I think I will.

This is going to take a while.  Last night was a wake-up call for me.  I'm sure it was imagined, but I could just feel that teacher wondering how I could let something so important fall by the wayside.  Really, that's just not true.  We aren't like that in our home.  We are constantly discussing the topic of God and Jesus Christ with our kids, but the sting was there and I've awoken to the fact that I need help...some serious organizational and cleaning help.

I just have not figured out how to balance 

time with kids and time on the house, 

and clearly both are feeling the repercussions of that.

What is the main thing that you do to keep your house and family organized and running smoothly?

I'm sure hoping this book will shed some light for me, because even though I so badly want to cut from my previous mold, this is all so much harder than it looked from the outside!

One thing I am certain of, however, is that whether I figure this whole thing out or not, my God loves me.  He sees my heart and knows my intentions.

We are all works in progress...sometimes I forget about that.

God did bring a verse to my heart though.  I love the entire passage, but in particular, I can feel that He wants me to focus right here for a while until I can also say it for myself:

"...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances..."

Philippians 4:11

May you also learn contentment, no matter where in your life you may find yourself.  Give yourself grace and a large portion of mercy, and remember, we are all works in progress for Him, and He will continue His good work in you straight on through to completion (Philippians 1:6, paraphrase mine).

Photo by Cheryl Empey via Free Images

Did You Know That Jesus Owns a Vacuum?

Sometimes, I mess up so royally that I find myself wishing I could be...I don't know...something along the lines of flawless...especially as a mother!

Alas, "flawless" is not a characteristic that courses through my human veins, so I have discovered myself in more than a few self-created messes where I wished I could take it all back.

I mean, just imagine if we could use our vacuums, 

and make it all go away, 

as though it never happened in the first place!

Yesterday I really could have used this vacuum.

My daughter is absolutely amazing.  She's brilliant and artistic and funny and loving and a million other wonderful things.

She's also feisty...very, VERY feisty.  

Now, I've got this little girl down to a science.  I am able to connect with her and reach her on a level that only a mother can.  Despite this fountain of knowledge, yesterday, when we were rushing out of the house and I knew...I mean, I knew...that the socks I had quickly grabbed were the "wrong" ones, I still tried to press forward.

You can guess how that went, I'm sure:  With her foot darting about from side to side, as I tried to get even one sock to stay on, we both quickly went from humored to highly agitated and frustrated.

Now, I know this is not the approach for my girl...I mean, I knew it before I knelt down to put these socks on, but we were late and I didn't have time to find another pair, so I simply forged ahead!

On a side note, any short cuts I am ever to try 

on any of my three kids, is actually the long way in disguise.  

Have you found this to be the case with you and yours as well?  

The shortcuts never work out, and this time was proving to be no exception.  It certainly would have been quicker to have found another pair of socks, but see, I'm feisty too and so now, this had become a battle of the wills.

Yup.  Very mature.

So there I was, amid the floundering of socks and our impending battle of the wills, and God was showing me that I was about to say something I'd regret, but I didn't heed His warning.  Next thing you know, I'm pulling my daughter towards the door and telling her to go walk in the snow barefoot.

Not my proudest moment.

I'm actually very embarrassed to even write that and had no intentions of sharing this story any further than the reaches of my front door, but I felt prodded by God to blog about it.  It's important for people to see that even the best-meaning, most loving of hearts can completely blunder and hurt the ones they love.

Maybe my actions seem like nothing to you.  Maybe it seems completely appalling, like I too felt it was.  Either way, my reaction caused both my little girl and me to completely stop in our tracks (and yes, I did retreat finally for those socks).

Now, my little girl was left completely unscathed by the whole thing (and no, I did not make her walk barefoot in the snow).  As for me, I apologized, we hugged, we talked, but I was completely traumatized by the whole thing.

How could I get here...and over a pair of socks?!  

It really did get me thinking about how I just wish 

I could always treat my kids, my family, my God, the way I feel in my heart...

It is deeply disheartening to have those moments 

where I've gone and spewed out a bunch of trash 

that I didn't even mean but can never take back.

I longed to have that vacuum to clean this whole mess up and have it be like it never happened in the first place.  The dread from it all was unbearable, and afterwards, I rode much of our drive in silence.  My daughter had forgiven me and moved on, but I was so ashamed of how I'd treated this gift God has entrusted me to take care of.

Then it struck me.

This is what God's grace and mercy are all about.
I messed up.
Big time.  There was no hiding this fact.

There was no excuse that could soften my culpability...

but see, that's where Jesus comes in.  

We go to the Cross with our burdens and sins, we ask for forgiveness, and...get this...we actually get to leave our burdens and sins right there for Him to take care of.

I messed up.  

Yes.  

But I don't have to carry the burden of it around with me.  

No one does, no matter what the error.  

So, you better believe, I went to that Cross, and I asked for forgiveness, and just like that, our Lord's "vacuum" that cleans up the mess of all who have sinned, asked for salvation and sought forgiveness was switched to "On".

While it is true that sometimes I do wish that I could be flawless in my life, especially as a mother, I'm realizing that to be so would mean that I did not need Christ, and I'm not willing to ever experience that.

So, I take my flawed existence, and I bring it to my God and thank Him for giving His undeserved grace and forgiveness, for granting me freedom right here and now from the chains that bind, and because of Him, whenever God sees me, all He sees is Jesus living in me...

Wholly

and completely

flawless.

Picture by cbcs via Free Images

Organizational Improvements and Those Crazy Apples Not Falling Far From the Tree...

I've been on my son's case a lot over his organizational challenges and, to a lesser and more proportional extent, I've been on my four year old's case as well.  Everywhere I look, their clothes are strewn about, their rooms are just straight-up disasters, and their chores have all but been abandoned since we hit the holiday season.

 

Yes, disorder and madness seem to sum everything up quite nicely, but as I was driving home from dropping my daughter off at preschool today, frustrated by being "late again", it dawned on me that perhaps the largest reason for their complete rejection of even the idea of organization has everything to do with me.

I try my best here at the house, I really do.  I'm up before 6 during the week, and don't often get a chance to sit down for the night until after 10.  I have, what I feel, is a wonderful balance of work and quality time with each of my three, but I'm now wondering:

Just what might happen if I got my own self organized?  

Would the kids follow suit?  

I mean, after all, I often hear them repeating things I've said or done (all good things, thankfully!).  Wouldn't it then stand to reason that if I got myself in gear that they just might do the same?

I look around this home and yes, while I may work my butt off, it definitely doesn't show in terms of the final home product.  I've been fine with that, for the most part, because I know where my time has been spent.  These kids of ours...these blessings...are happy, healthy, well-adjusted children, who are given the time they need and know how to play and love on their family and, most importantly, God.

I know that the house taking the fall 

in favor of time with the kids has been the right choice, 

but what if there was a better way to spend the time that I do dedicate to housework?

I don't want or need a rigid schedule in my life, but as I take a look around and see our stairs lined sometimes nearly to the top with projects and whatnot...as I go to put the Christmas decorations away and realize that I never even fully put all the Fall ones back...and as I hesitantly cast a glance toward the kitchen sink and see the dishes pouring from it and out onto our counter top, I can't help but think that organization just might be my friend.

So I'll conduct myself a little experiment here:  While I will continue to work on my kids' skills, I think I'll add working on my own to the mix and see how it impacts them.

I think I already know the outcome here.

There was a book I had downloaded onto my phone nearly a year ago by Crystal Paine called Say Goodbye to Survival Mode.  I only made it to chapter four.  I think I'll start there and see what happens.

What about you?  Have you mastered organization or are you more like me?  

Any life hacks for keeping your home and your family organized?  

As I fill out my daughter's preschool tuition payment five days late, 

I'm thinking I could use any advice you care to give!

Pre-K Today, College Tomorrow

To My Girl,

Today was such a big day for you...the first day of Pre-K!  Though, you don't know that just yet.  The word "school" is not exactly the most welcome among your vocabulary so, for weeks, if not months, we have been calling your school by name only: Wonderland.  I mean, seriously, what's not to love about a magical school called Wonderland?!

Honey, I just want you to know that I am so very proud of you...
You're out there doing it...playing with your friends, eagerly pursuing new ones and just so excited to experience the life before you!!

There are so many things I want to tell you, but at the same time, I'm at a complete loss for words.  Just yesterday, it seems, I was holding you in my arms while you slept, because it was the only way you could ever go to sleep.
You're my girl, my mama...we've been best girls since the day you were born...You will forever be all of these things for me.

I want you to know how very much I love you...how honored I feel that God has given me a front row seat to your life.

This next chapter you've just begun is a wonderful one, yet a difficult one for me.  No longer will I know your every waking moment, from sun up to sun down...You're off now, and you're on your way...and I know it may seem silly of me to be so nostalgic over just 2 1/2 hours of your day, but I see your big brother, and I know how quickly the time moves.

I'm in awe of you, you know...God has placed a mighty strength within you that is so plain to see.  You're brilliant, you're feisty, you're loving and caring, and so amazing with your crayons and markers and paints (I love your murals in your room!).  You love your brothers and your family and are so passionate about knowing who God is.  I love everything about you, and I pray with all my heart that you will just let the power and strength and love of the Lord wash over you with each breath you take...letting it flow out to others without ever holding back...even when it may make you different from the rest.  Never hold back who God has given you to be...always let yourself be free, and the world will be such a better place for it!

Well, it's time to pick you up from school now.  I cannot wait to hear how your day has been, my sweet and beautiful girl...I love you with all that I am and ever will be...

Congratulations on this new and wonderful chapter of your life.  Daddy and I are so very proud...

Hasty Parenting = Hurtful Parenting

The Lord is my passion...the Lord first, and then my family.

I want more than anything to please Him and to love my family the way He created me and entrusted me to do so.

And I try...I really, really try,
                      and I believe that quite often, I am right on the mark,
but tonight, I'm realizing that I'm so far from where and who I thought I was.

Instead of love and acceptance, I've served criticism and rejection...

Instead of showing a heart full of unconditional love, 

I've taught more of a works-based love.

I thought I was giving unconditional love, I really and truly did...but, true to the Lord, He has lifted the veil from my eyes and shown me that, while that may be what I strive for and even teach with my words, that is not what I've shown with my heart.

We are a family of five.  My husband works two jobs so that I can stay home with the kids.

He is tired.
                  I am tired.

There is a laundry list of items that never get checked as "completed" (especially the laundry)!
Some nights the kids are screaming, everybody needs me at once, my back is hurting...and I get controlling.

Instead of seeing life through their eyes, I see it through mine, and all I want to do is control what's happening.  They don't listen (because, well, they're kids and they're learning) and before I know it, I've said something I shouldn't have said.
No, I'm not calling them names or streaming out insults, but I am reacting so quickly in a negative way that I've made them feel poorly about themselves instead of good.
Oh, it could be anything...my son tonight, for example, used a hand towel to wipe out our disgusting sink and then hung it back up for us to wipe our hands with.  Instead of focusing on his helping heart, I'd already zeroed in on the gross hand towel now hanging for all to use.  I'm reacting to that and have let his well-intended deed feel more like an embarrassment for him.

It's things like that that I'm talking about.  

Things that happen so quickly that it's too late to take back,
no matter how many compliments I try to bathe it in afterwards.

I love my children so incredibly much, but I feel sometimes like all I do is mess up, and mess up, and mess up.

I am so thankful to God that I don't have to bear this burden of my own mistakes.

I am so thankful to God that He is easier on me than I am on my own children.  

I am so thankful to God for unconditional, perfect perfect love, 

and second and third and fourth chances....

...and I am especially thankful that He works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28)...

....and though I may flail and falter as a mother, 

I am not messing them up...

because He will take these mistakes of mine and 

help to shape these three amazing children of HIS to His glory. 

Does that mean I should continue to react so quickly and, sadly, so harshly?
Certainly not!

But it does mean that I can go to God, thank Him for showing me the error of my ways, seek His forgiveness, and then try again.

Knowing that God will work His good amidst my mess, 

gives me the relief I need 

to free myself from this burden 

and be the mom these kids need me to be.

What about you?  What are your weak spots as a parent?  A sibling?  A child?  A friend?

Bring your weakness (and your guilt) to the Lord today.  He will work His perfection through our faults and give you the hope you need to try again...yet not of our own strength...but His, and His alone.

Dear Lord,
I have been such a fool for the way I have treated the ones You have given me to love the most after You.  I'm so sorry for being a stumbling block when I wanted to be a stepping stone...I'm so sorry for not loving unconditionally, but projecting a spirit of works-based love instead.  I'm so sorry for bringing anxiety instead of peace and acceptance and open love and warmth.  Please forgive me, Lord, for not being the parent You have created me to be.  Thank You, Lord, that I am a work in progress...and for not leaving me here like this.  Thank You for Your compassion, for Your acceptance of me just like I am, even when I am hurting the very ones You have given me to protect and love and care for.  Please help me to be more like You, Lord.  Help me to love unconditionally...to be quick to listen and slow to react and to speak.  Help the words and the actions I speak to be those of love, acceptance and encouragement.  I want so much for these kids to feel good when they are with me, and confident of who they are...I want them to know that I am here for them and that I love and accept and want for them in the very same way that You do for me.  Help me to be Your face and to be it so very well.  Help the way I live and love and act towards them to make them want to know You more than ever.  I love You, my Father.  Your will be done.  In Jesus' sweet Name, I pray.  Amen.

Graduation and Letting Go...

Just yesterday, my son graduated from elementary school.

For those of you who have "been there", you know how emotional this can be...

For those who are heading in that direction with your own, 

I'd love to advise you to brace yourselves, 

but in all reality, there's no bracing for these things..

and, to be honest,
I don't think I would want to...not for something like this,

because to brace myself would mean to hold back parts of my heart 

so I didn't feel the emotional pangs of letting go, 

and I don't ever want to do that.  

I am still grappling to understand how my baby is already moving up to middle school...and I am floored on a near-daily basis over the realization that he really is moving further and further away from that baby boy I once held in my arms and yet, at the same time, not at all.

It is hard coming to terms with that and even harder to accept that there's nothing I can do about it except let him go and make the most of every possible opportunity I have been given to be with him.

So, I've basically been an emotional blubber of tears these past few weeks...I'm not gonna lie.  I'm so proud, so grateful, so honored, so blessed to be his mom.  It all is just going so quickly.

I'd just like to hit the pause button once in a while 

so that I can absorb it all just a little bit more deeply before heading on.  

It seems like only yesterday that I was chasing after him as he learned to walk, ready to catch him at a moment's notice.  Sometimes now, I feel like I'm running just to catch up, and I know that day is coming soon, where I'll stop running altogether, catch my breath and sigh a bittersweet sigh over the realization that it's time to let him go on his own.  Oh yes, I'll still be there, of that you can be sure, and I know that he will always need me and I will always be there to catch him at a moment's notice, but life is different now...the seasons, they change so quickly...and I just couldn't be any prouder of this young man he is becoming.

I've already written him a his graduation letter, but in my heart calls another:

Poppy,

I'm so very proud of you...so amazed by who you already are and who you're becoming...

I sure can't stop you from growing up, nor would I want to, but let me tell you that this all is so much harder than I ever dreamed and yet so worth it.

Every day, I let go a little more, as I should, but every day I also love you more than all the other days combined.

I can't wait to see all that you become...I can't wait to cheer for you in your successes and cheer you on when the successes aren't as forthcoming.  I have told you before, and I say it again:  You are my physical evidence of the Lord's grace...my gift undeserved but granted all the same.

Thank you for the honor of being your mother...thank you for the privilege of knowing your life the way you have let me...

Follow the Lord's Path...seek it out at all costs...even, and especially when it feels like everyone around you is walking in the opposite direction.  Some of your closest friends may fall and turn...but you, my love...keep pressing onward and forward towards His Kingdom, and surround yourself with godly influences to help you along your way, guarding your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.

I love you, Poppy...

Congratulations again on this new chapter in your life...

Living in the Moment

So much has changed in my life...transformed, really...and right before my very eyes.  This summer, I can honestly say that I have let everything go, in terms of control and a tight schedule to maintain.

Don't get me wrong, there has been carting around to this camp and to that one for most of the summer, but something has been different this time around.

I'm no longer that haggled mom, running around with her head cut off 

because the house is a mess 

and I feel like I've failed my kids for not having star-quality activities every moment of every day.  

I've just come to this point where I've stopped doing things from my own strength...I've stopped striving and struggling and have learned to just go where God is leading...to allow Him to open my eyes to what He so generously has chosen for me to see.

It's ridiculous to hear me say it now, but I seriously felt like the key to a successful summer was tied into that whole bucket list idea I wrote about a couple months ago.

I thought, if we completed the list, it would equate to an amazing summer, 

but nothing within that bucket list itself could have ever compared 

to the amazement of having learned 

to just be in the moment with my kids.  

What a gift to be a stay-at-home mom...Yes, it's a lot of work, and yes I have had an overabundance of lessons in the area of patience and wisdom of speech, but man, what a blessing.

I've never been so content in my life since having given over my plans and ideas of structure to God...

What He's done with them in turn, there's just no words for...

Dirty Kids, Messy Home...Happy Life. Why Letting Go Is The Best Thing You Could Ever Do For Your Family.

Maybe it comes from all those beautiful summers as a child where both days and nights seemed endless,
but every summer since my first was born, I seem to be under some unbroken illusion that I will finally have the time to complete those projects I've been meaning to get to all year long...

You'd think I'd learn after nearly a decade, but ever the optimist,  I've held onto the hope that big things will happen each summer!!

What I'm really starting to realize now is that they are happening...

just not in the way I'd expected.  

Instead of a finally neat home,
                                      I find it's way messier..

Instead of cleaner kids,
                              they are definitely dirtier...

Dinner before 6:30?
                                 Ha!
                                         Try 7:30...and even 8:30 sometimes!

It would seem I'm moving away from my goals, 

but I've realized I'm closer to them than I ever was before...

See, the house is messier,
                                   the kids stinkier,
                                                         the dinners later,

because I've dropped my plans and let God lead. 

...And He's led me straight to my kids!  

Yeah, we might still be trying to get to that bucket list I wrote about at the start of summer, but we've been places, and we've done things, and we've just enjoyed being together.

I've got a neighbor that is in his 80's.  His wife passed on, and his children live elsewhere, so he lives alone.

Sometimes when life has been especially busy, and I look out the window at his house where he is often lounging on his front porch,

I realize that his home is probably super neat, 

his projects so done

and his dinner promptly eaten,

but I can't help but think how he must long for what I have:

the endless shouts and squeals bouncing off my walls, 

the children a mess from puddle splashing and dirt digging, 

the house a wreck because we are too busy being together, 

the dinner late because we just didn't feel like coming inside yet...

Hopefully one day I'll get the chance to grow old like this man has, and I'm sure my home will be neat and my projects done with me looking for others to do,
but more than anything,

I know I'll be longing for the loudness in my house...

the endless squeals of laughter from my children...

and I just thank God that I've come to understand this now...

...that I've learned to let the plans go and just delight in where the Lord leads, messy house, dirty and unfed kids and all...

Praise be that He gets it right every time...

and thank God that I'm starting to listen and to follow!

Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl

To my Sweet Baby Girl,

How could I possibly ever explain to you how I see you...

...and how beautiful you are...

So beautiful, in fact, that I have trouble taking my eyes off of you.  

Each day you amaze me, each day you thrill me, each day my heart bursts to the point of overwhelm at the blessed awareness that, out of all the mothers in this entire world, God chose me for YOU.

Through you and your brother, 

I am so aware of what Grace means...

because by it, I am blessed with you both, 

despite who and what I have ever been in my life.

Happy birthday, Sweetheart...I can scarcely believe that you're two...

I love you with all that I am...

...and with every ounce of love 

God has poured through me 

just for your sweet and amazing heart.   

...Because Memories Are for the Heart...

To My Girl,

When you were born, I was determined to keep a pristine baby book for you..one that would recant your every "first" from birth to marriage...I would collect mementos along the way as tangible proof of how amazing your "first" was, I'd record every tooth grown and lost, I'd even keep the wrapper from that first band-aid, like my mom did for me...but, my Love, you are nearly two now and that baby book still sits on a shelf awaiting with eagerness those moments I swore to keep up with on paper.  

But you know what, Sweetheart?  I've realized that, while that book may be eagerly awaiting it's fill of memories with you, my heart is not, my eyes and ears and arms are not...because, instead of taking time away from us two to steal a moment in a book, I've chosen instead to embrace these moments for our hearts.  I still plan on doing a baby book for you someday, but I'm not worried about it like I once was...it's true that memories fade, so I might someday not as readily remember how you wave and blow kisses to your poopoos as they go down the pot ("Guh-bye, Poopoo! Mmmmmwha!"), but my heart is forever branded by the love you fill it with in those moments...I love you, my sweet girl, and I cannot wait to look under rocks with you tomorrow morning...

Healthy Parent vs. Sick Parent

So, I've come to find, when you're a parent, there really isn't that much difference in what is required and expected of you when you are healthy versus when you are sick.

Allow me to expound upon the two and also, to say in advance, I'm proud of all you moms and dads out there who persevere no matter what hand they are dealt on any particular day:

Typical day for a healthy stay-at-home parent:

Getting the kids up & ready for the day
Playing with the kids

Image by Asif Akbar via Free Images

Making breakfast&lunch

Playing with the kids
Cleaning the house

Playing with the kids

Making dinner

Playing with the kids
Wiping tears

Playing with the kids 
Wiping butts

Playing with the kids
Wiping noses

Playing with the kids
Making desserts & snacks

Playing with the kids
Waking up in the middle of the night

Please no playing!
Waking up early in the morning

Playing with the kidsHelping with homework
Playing with the kids

Being there when they're sick

Playing with the kids

and, finally, 
Learning what you're made of...and most likely again, playing with the kids!

Typical day for a sick stay-at-home parent:

Getting the kids up & ready for the day

Playing with the kids

Making breakfast&lunch

Playing with the kids
Cleaning the house

Playing with the kids

Making dinner

Image by Sebastian Smit via Free Images

Playing with the kids
Wiping tears

Playing with the kids 
Wiping butts

Playing with the kids
Wiping noses

Playing with the kids
Making desserts & snacks

Playing with the kids
Waking up in the middle of the night

Please no playing!
Waking up early in the morning

Playing with the kidsHelping with homework
Playing with the kids

Being there when they're sick

Playing with the kids

Realizing that you are likely sick because your kid was and knowing full well that you'd do it all over again if it meant you get to be with them like you have

And, finally,

Learning...more than ever...what you're made of...and again, most likely, playing with the kids!

Being a parent is hard work, but it's also the best job I have ever had in my life.  Never have I learned more and transformed more than I have since the day my first was born.  What a blessing, what a gift to be here, in this position.  What a blessing, what a gift to be challenged the way we all are, in some ways the same and in others quite different!

No matter how we each are challenged today, 

let's decide now to be grateful 

and to persevere through whatever today's particular hurdles may come to be!  

And if you find yourself on the sick side of the equation today, 

I pray for speedy healing and wellness 

so that you can healthily do the job God has specifically chosen just for you...

Parenthood.